The United States military's Combined Joint Task Force – Horn of Africa (CJTF-HOA) is in need of capable and dependable regional military allies as it seeks to bring stability to the Horn of Africa. Eritrea – once a proclaimed US friend and home to one of Africa's largest military establishments – superficially seems to fit the bill. Drawing from literature on the ‘unprofessional nature’ of African militaries as well as the scant amount of open source material available on the notoriously secretive nation, this article argues that despite its experienced and well-funded military, President Isaias Afewerki's overbearing control of it has made Eritrea's military highly ‘unprofessional’ in various ways. As a result, a military that could be a useful US ally in a historically tenuous region will likely remain more of a problem than a boon for the United States into the foreseeable future.